Bienvenida! (Emily Engel)

Emily Engel

Bienvenida!

At least that’s what they’ve been saying to me this past week in Suchitoto. “Welcome Emily,” “thank you,” I tell each woman in gratitude as they welcome me into their lives. I would say that they welcome me into their ‘office and work’, but the truth is that this work, the defense of women who encounter violence, is their life. The multiple women that I have had the privilege to get to know this past week live to defend women and prevent more cases of violence against them. Some women on the executive board come from situations of violence themselves, and others simply believe in the right to a life free from violence. A life of happiness and not fear. A peaceful life.

This is a belief that I too share with these women. As I studied more and more psychology at Gonzaga University, I discovered that Latinos, women’s empowerment, and sexual health were my interests. In addition, I received a minor in Mathematics because prior to studying psychology I was a math major, but found the subject tedious after some time. For those of you unsure of where Gonzaga is located, it is in Spokane, WA, near the border with Idaho. However, I’m from a small town north of Seattle called Snohomish. I’ve lived there my whole life, except when studying abroad in El Salvador with the CASA de la Solidaridad program in the Spring of 2011. It was during that semester that I fell in love with the people and the culture, minus machismo. I decided mid-way through my semester that I had to return and thus here I am!

Although El Salvador has a history of violence, I truly believe that the work of APDM, of whom I will accompany for the next year, has made, and will continue to make, huge strides in reducing the violence in this country. The way that one begins this process is with herself. Later, her community, then her province, and then her country. APDM, Asociación para el Desarrollo y Defensa de la Mujer, or in English, Association for the Development and Defense of Women, has successfully began to defend and educate women in this province. APDM has gained the support of the community, the mayor, police, schools, and many other organizations in Suchitoto. I will continue to accompany APDM and learn more about the varying roles within this organization, of which I can aid more directly in the coming months.

I want to personally thank the family and friends of Dennis O’Connor and the donors of the Dennis O’Connor Memorial Fund. I had the opportunity to read the blog post announcing Dennis’ passing, of which many contributed with heartwarming stories. I then followed the link to read “Another day in Cancerland” written by Dennis himself. He spoke endearingly about a woman named Peggy Hollingsworth who told Dennis multiple times, “You do great work for CRISPAZ, but you can’t do it if you’re dead.” Well, although Dennis has gone before us, he lives in each of us, whether we knew him directly or not. It is because of you, the family and friends of Dennis, and the donors to his memorial fund that make it possible for me to attempt to do great work for CRISPAZ, just as Dennis did. It is because of you that I am in El Salvador volunteering and assisting this women’s movement in the fight against violence, a cause that I’m sure Dennis would support. So, thank you once again for your generous donations in supporting CRISPAZ volunteers like me.

Con amor,

Emily

CRISPAZ Compañera

We are very happy to welcome Emily Engel, our new compañera (Long-Term  Volunteer), to the CRISPAZ Family.

Hello friends, family, and Crispaz supporters./ from Jenna Knapp CRISPAZ Compañera (Long Term Volunteer)

      I hope this finds you well, wherever you are! I just wanted to write a quick update about the work I continue to do thanks to CRISPAZ’s generous supporters

 These past few months have been a whirlwind, hence the lack of blog entries, but they have been quite full of activity.

As Maria explained, we have been working with male youth in a detention center doing art therapy workshops, and we have also been working with amazing young women a minor’s detention center in Ilopango. The young women we work with are so full of life and dreams yet most of them serve 5 to 15 year sentences for crimes they may or may not have committed. Since the maximum sentence for minors was raised from 7 to 15 years, youth coming into the centers are even more overwhelmed and have less motivation to “change” knowing that they will be living so many years within the same walls.

            Our work consists mostly in one-on-one sessions with about 30 of the women in the center, where we listen to their fears, secrets, aspirations, and often unspeakable pasts and simply write as they speak. Through this simple exercise the girls realize that they are already poets and that they speak of a wisdom that comes from lessons learned in the streets, one that has everything to do with a gritty reality far different than that which scholars paint with their prose.

        Having done this exercise repeatedly for a year and a half with the majority of the women in the center, we can see that the culture of the center in itself is beginning to change slightly. Girls come to us with 10 poems that they’ve written on their own, wanting us to type them and give them back to them for their portfolios.

They tell me things like  “I was so sad one night I did not even want to exist, but there was a tiny ray of light shining onto my bunk bed so I got out my pen and began to write. Here’s what I came up with, I don’t know if it’s any good…” And inevitably the ensuing words speak of doubts, insecurities, hardship, and a longing for a God that they perhaps have yet to feel fill the spaces of neglect and abuse these women have suffered for years.

            Others will tell me, “I was bored to death in computer class because all we do is play solitaire, so instead I wrote these poems, I don’t know if they’re any good…” And again their words shock me as they reveal themselves as the poets they have always been, yet perhaps are finally expressing for the first time.

            At times this work can be exhausting, overwhelming, and can seem like such a tiny drop in the bucket of ignorance, abuse, and discrimination that plague these women’s lives, yet there are always rays of hope that illuminate our work in the Center. Recently as I was leaving, one of the young women who I have come to love as if she were a long-lost sister of mine told me “You know, I barely know you, but I feel that you are one of those people who has really marked my life, because you’ve helped me to discover who I really am.”

            Her words floored and humbled me, and I left with such a feeling of gratitude. Despite the multitude of setbacks and despair we encounter in our work, if I can facilitate others’ discovery of their true selves, their loving, well-intentioned, God-like selves, this work is well worth the effort.

Jenna Knapp 

CRISPAZ Compañera (Long Term Volunteer)

Circle of compliments

Circle of compliments

By: Maria Hoisington, CRISPAZ Compañera (long-term volunteer)

      Jenna and I have run art therapy workshops in the 'El Espino' you detention center with members of the 18th Street Gang since November of 2011. Our main goal is to provide a space for self-expression and healing for these boys that have suffered so much trauma and loss in their lives. They blur the line between "victim" and "victimizer", as many of them experienced severe abuse and violence as children and adolescents before getting involved in the gang life.

           

     El Espino is a complicated place to work, because although all of the 140 boys are members of the 18th Street Gang, there are internal divisions and conflicts between sectors. For the past two months, we have worked with Sector 3, the smallest and most vulnerable sector that is made up of boys that are isolated because of problems with the gang, born-again Christians and others that no longer want to continue as active gang members.

             

    On the last day of our workshops with Sector 3, we placed the chairs in a circle, all of them facing  inward except one.

         

   "This is a circle of compliments. Who knows what a compliment is?” we asked.

   "It's what you think of someone!" "It's when you say something nice about your friend!" "When someone does something you like!"

          

   "Great. Who would like to go first? Everyone will have the chance to receive compliments, sitting in the chair with their back facing the group. The rest of us have the opportunity to compliment him or her if we like."

  
   Silence. Nobody moved. Everyone was embarrassed to go first, most because of the fear that no one would say anything nice about them. They constantly hear negative comments from their peers, family members, society, detention center staff and the courts. You can't do anything right. You deserve to be locked up because of your own bad choices. You're a bad person, you better change. I hope something horrible happens to you. You should have never been born. Even among friends, it is more common to tear each other down than build each other up.

          

     "Ok, I'll go first. But you guys better say something nice," said one of the boys, reluctantly. He got up and sat with his back facing the group. Everyone stared at each other for a moment, until one by one they asked for the marker that we used as a talking stick. The compliments started pouring out as all of the boys passed through the hot seat, hearing, but not seeing, their peers as they showered them with positivity.

         

    "I admire you. You're walking on God's path and it's not a path for cowards like me that are active 24/7 in the gang. It's the path of the brave. I envy you because I haven't been able to make that choice."

       

    "I don't really know you that well, but one time I was sitting in a corner and I felt really bad. You came over and asked me what was going on and listened to my problems. I really appreciated that."

       

   "You're a great friend and I love you. We do everything here together. We hang out together, study together, and sleep in the same bed. You always do whatever you can to make people feel better when they feel sad."

        

    "I'm gonna tell you the truth, you have an angry temperament. Just as one gospel hymn says, 'Jesus, make my temperament more like yours', ask God to help you."

       

    "You're my homeboy and I love you. We're brothers and we're here together in this crappy situation, but I know I can count on you for anything."

      

     "I've only been here for a week, and I barely know you, but I consider you a friend. Thanks for being so cool with me and helping me not feel so bad in this place."

      

     "My brother here is another one of God's sheep, just like me! God is always by your side, loving you and supporting you. Never lose faith!"

   

   At the end of the activity, everyone was beaming. Those who at first were shy and reluctant to speak, in the end eagerly asked for the opportunity to speak about the positive aspects of their compañeros and the importance of friendship and honesty. Many of them had never taken the time to say 'man, you're a good friend, I really value you,' and enjoyed giving compliments as much as receiving them.

           

   What can all of us take away from this experience? There is much we can learn from that room full of incarcerated boys that overcame fear, mistrust, bitterness, anger and shyness and showered each other with compliments. We spend so much time and energy in this life tearing each other down. We critique, judge, and focus on the negative. What would happen if instead we made a habit of speaking words of love and support? I love you, I value you, I admire you, I thank you... Let's try it!

Former Executive Director Dennis O'Connor bids farewell to "Cancerland"

     As many of you have already heard, our former Executive Director of CRISPAZ passed away Easter morning after a courageous five year battle against colon cancer. This is very sad news to everyone that has had a chance to meet and know Dennis, as he was a very caring, gregarious and faith filled individual with a zeal for life.

     For those of you that haven't had the chance to meet Dennis, and even for those of you that have, let this blog serve a memorial that sheds a small light on such a great life.

     Dennis was a very talented individual with numerous accomplishments through out his life and career. He graduated from Indiana University with a Bachelors degree in Journalism and Political Science; served in the Army for five years stationed in Germany as a Second Lieutenant and then honorably discharged as a Captain; worked at numerous newspapers and publications throughout Kentucky and Ohio; spent ten years working for the Catholic Telegraph in Cincinnati; wrote two publications “Bridges of Faith” and “Building Bridges of Faith”; and most recently served as the Executive Director of CRISPAZ. However, I would say, and I think he would definitely agree, that his most important accomplishment was his family. He had been married to his best friend Paula, without whom- he mentioned several times-he would be lost and unable to achieve all that he has. Together they proudly raised their two children Sean and Colleen into the most loving family.

“It is not so much what happens to each of us that determines our quality of life, but rather our reaction to what happens. Though we may have no choice in unexpected events that happen to us, we most certainly have a choice in how we interpret what happens, and in what we choose to do about it. These choices make all the difference in how we experience our world and very much determine our quality of life.”

     I ran across this quote a few days ago and I feel that Dennis somehow read it years ago, or even wrote it himself, because Dennis was definitely the embodiment of this. What I mean by this is that when I met Dennis seven months ago, I had no idea that the bearded, almost grizzly, man waving at me from the parking lot directing me on where to park, had been battling stage III cancer for the past four years. When I finally learned that this man who was practically single-handily running the stateside of an international organization was also fighting cancer, I was shocked.

     Dennis definitely knew that although having cancer was not his choice, his quality of life while fighting it was. He chose to continue living and enjoy the life that he had rather than succumb to one of self-pity and defeat. During his five year battle Dennis continued working as Executive Director of CRISPAZ taking multiple trips back and forth between the U.S. and El Salvador in order to ensure that this organization continues to operate. In addition to this, he continued to organize and host fundraisers, promote the organization, and secure future delegations. Dennis also, in between CRISPAZ and his family (which you wouldn't think would leave much time) continued to write. One of his more personal and enlightening pieces is his article called "Another Day in Cancerland", which provides a first hand account of life with cancer. In this article it becomes apparent, by his naming of Kuato, that Dennis was not going to let his cancer take all the fun out of life. If he had to have cancer, so be it, but he was going to have it his way!

     Over the past seven months I was able to get to know Dennis a little bit more and in addition to showing me the ropes on how a non-profit organization works, and discussing the politics of Latin America, he would share stories with me of how he would use Kuato to play pranks on those he wasn't particularly fond of. And it is this sense of humor, along with his fight for life and passion for justice that I will miss most.

     I realize that one person's point of view cannot encapsulate the entire life of another and the impact that they had on others, and even with ten or twenty people it is still not possible. However, I think that by reading the following it will help with the understanding of who Dennis was, and how he has left his mark on the lives of others.

"My favorite Dennis story is one involving his wife. This year an anonymous donation in the form of a one dollar bill showed up at the CRISPAZ office. This infuriated Dennis-the audacity that someone would think that to send a one dollar donation was anything but insulting. Little did he know, the anonymous donor was his wife simply trying to get a rise out of his fiery personality. She was successful, and it made for a hilarious story.  I will miss Dennis not only for his strong and devoted passions and work ethic, but his ability to stay positive in any situation. He was the definition of a strong human being and I'm glad I was able to know him."

-Karl Laube, Peaslee Neighborhood Center

"During the period that Dennis and I both worked for the Archdiocese I had the occasion to experience his passion for justice in Central America and his skill as a newspaper professional. The Social Action Office, which I directed, had just completed a significant study report on Central America. The findings and conclusions of this lengthy report needed to be effectively communicated to the wider Catholic community. In his position as an Editor of the Catholic Telegraph Dennis did a masterful job of telling the story of the report through photos and accurate copy, and thus set the stage for action. I glimpsed then his commitment and zeal for the people of Central America, a commitment which eventually led him to CRISPAZ. I am deeply saddened by his death. I shall miss him as colleague and a friend in the work of justice and peace. "

-Tom Choquette, Cincinnati Inter-Faith Committee Worker Justice

"Dennis was a great guy and was the one who really sold me on Brebeuf using CRISPAZ for our El Salvador trips.  I still remember him insisting on driving to Indianapolis from Cincinnati to speak at one of our parents’ nights before the trip.  He completely made the parents feel at ease and excited about the experience for the students.  He was a real joy to work with."

-Nick Klingler Brebeuf Jesuit Preparatory School

"I knew Dennis through CRISPAZ and also through serving with him briefly on a committee planning a special event focused on Catholic mission work. So we would have conversations about church matters, and when I learned he had been a journalist, we talked about our mutual interest in writing as well. He had a great talent with words, a curiosity about the world, and a commitment to making a positive impact--the classic journalist good guy. I admire his spirit, his generosity with his time and energy, and his engagement in righting wrongs. He is a model for infusing your work with resurrection hope."

-Angela Pancella, Peaslee Neighborhood Center

"Dennis you lived which great passion and grace. You faced issues of justice with high energy and dedication. You brought such talent and professionalism to your work. You were deeply cared for and well respected.

May the good earth be soft under you
when you rest upon it,
and may it rest easy over you when,
at the last, you lay out under it,
And may it rest so lightly over you
that your soul may be out
from under it quickly,
and up, and off,
And be on its way to God."

 -Eunice Timoney, Intercommunity Justice and Peace Center

"This Lent I have been reading Marcus Borg's The Heart of Christianity.  As I hear of Dennis' passing and reflect on his life, especially the last few years, I can't help but see him as one of the followers of Christ who fully embraced God's charge to us to practice compassion and justice.  Not content to simply sit back and criticize or lament the sad state of affairs of our world, Dennis made the pursuit of social justice his job.  As Borg writes, "…[T]he practice of justice involves consciousness-raising within the church about the effects of social systems (economic, political, and conventional) on people's lives, and then acting on that awareness in ways appropriate to who we are."  We are fortunate that Dennis chose CRISPAZ through which to practice his compassion and justice.  We, and all those in El Salvador and North America who have been touched by CRISPAZ and its work, are better off for having had Dennis work through and with us as Christians for Peace in El Salvador. May he rest in peace."

-Paul Knapp, CRISPAZ

"Dennis will be sorely missed at Peaslee Neighborhood Center. I feel very fortunate to have known him and was inspired by his work and passion for justice issues. He was always willing to offer guidance for a project or idea and I will really miss his kindness.  His family and close friends will be in my thoughts and prayers. "

-Julie Przybysz,  Intercommunity Justice and Peace Center

"To the O’Connor Family,

My name is Larry Fogle, and I would like to say a little something about how I met Mr. Dennis. I stated to work at Peaslee in the spring of 2011. That’s when Mr. Dennis and I started talking to each other. We use to talk about how clean the building was and how good it was smelling .From that day we became friends. We would speak to each other every day. I f he needed me to help him carry anything to his car I would help.-And he really enjoyed his Cadillac.

Mr. Dennis, we know that you are not here, but you are still in our hearts and not forgotten."

-Larry Fogle, Peaslee Neighborhood Center

"In May 2010, a friend and I started a non-profit organization to help
educate intelligent yet impoverished kids in El Salvador. We knew we
could not do this without the help of people who know both the country
and how to be successful with a non-profit. We were blessed to cross
paths with Dennis because he essentially took us under his wing
(literally) by ensuring that we had the necessary tools to succeed.
Because of Dennis, we were able to team-up with CRISPAZ in order to use
some of their resources to get started. Without his help and the help
of his staff, especially Francisco Mena Ugarte, we would not be anywhere
near where we are today.

Dennis completely dedicated his time and talents to people of El
Salvador through his work with CRISPAZ. What really amazed me was that
he still took the time to offer us advice and assistance about our
organization when we needed it, and the advice he gave us was truly
invaluable because of the amount of time and experience he has had with
non-profits. I can say with confidence that all of Dennis' work with
CRISPAZ and El Salvador in general will not soon be forgotten. There is
a lot we can all learn from the life of service that he lived, and I
aspire to one day live a life of service like Dennis.

On behalf of everyone at iOYE, we express our deepest sympathy to
Dennis' family and friends. Dennis--you were a great person who will be
sorely missed by many."

-Cory Bronenkamp, iOYE

"Dennis was a man of dedication and caring.  What a gift he was to family, friends, and the people of our troubled world.  We miss him here but heaven is blessed with a wonderful new resident.  My prayers are for Paula, Colleen and Sean. "

   

-Sr. Alice Gerdeman,CDP , Intercommunity Justice and Peace Center

"Merciful Lord Jesus, accept your faithful servant, Dennis, into you heavenly company.  He was your tireless worker in search of those in need, spreading your holy word of solidarity and hope.  He had a heavy cross laid on him in his latter years which he took up with a ready will.  As Dennis thus shared in your passion, while invoking the company of Oscar Romero, may he now rejoice with him in your Eastering Love.
       May his spirit like a mantle fall on his friends and family and in particular on the work of his latter day companions of Christians for Peace in El Salvador, a country dedicated to your saving name.  We earnestly pray, Amen. Alleluia! Alleluia!"

-Prayer shared by Fr. Peter Hinde, CRISPAZ

“Dennis: a Transformative Easter Catholic like Romero”

As the director the Archdiocesan Mission Office, it warms my heart when I meet persons willing to be transformed by crossing geographic, social, religious, cultural or economic boarders to discover new “flavors” of God in others.  My dear friend Dennis O’Connor was one of those persons who did just that.  He inspired many, many people before losing his life to cancer this past Easter.  For more than 10 years, Dennis was the managing editor for our Catholic Telegraph (CT) but starting in 2001, he responded to my invitations to take immersion trips with fellow Catholics to our missionaries of our archdiocese and parish twinning partners in Central America.

Dennis was super impressed and inspired by the powerful spiritual insights and actions of the late Archbishop Oscar Romero and other Central Americas who stood up for Catholic social justice teaching….and by the many who were tortured or martyred in the process.  A few days before Dennis died, he confided to me in short breaths, “Romero was so transformative ….to so many people…. and to me….I’m ever grateful ….for his life and ….. his death.”

After his Central American visits, Dennis wrote insightful articles that won national awards for the CT and wrote the book, “Bridges of Faith:  Building a Relationship with a Sister Parish.”   Among his key quotes from the U.S. bishops where:

“Parishes often act as islands of local religious activity rather than as parts of the mystical body of Christ…A parish reaching

 beyond its own members and beyond national boundaries is truly a ‘catholic parish’...Parishes need to be more Catholic and less parochial.”

“Solidarity is action on behalf of the one human family, calling us to help overcome the divisions in our world.  Solidarity binds the rich to the poor. It make the free zealous for the cause of the oppressed.  It drives the comfortable and secure to take risks for the victims of tyranny and war.  It calls those who are strong to care for those who are weak and vulnerable across the spectrum of human life. It opens homes and hearts to those in flight from terror and to migrants whose daily toil supports affluent lifestyles.  Peace making, as Pope John Paul II has told us, is the work of solidarity.” 

         From ”Called To Global Solidarity: International Challenges for U.S. Parish” by U.S. Catholic bishop, 1997

 As a result of all of his visits and writing, he decided to leave the CT to become the director CRISPAZ, (Christians for Peace in El Salvador) to directly build more bridges of peace and solidarity for the next 5 years, linking Salvadorans and North Americans.

Upon hearing about Dennis’ death, Rosa Anaya, a human rights worker in Salvador wrote:

“I wish to send to the whole CRISPZ family my condolences for the loss of Dennis.  I remember when Dennis was part of a delegation when he was the leader, he told me on that occasion that he was committed in this process of constructing peace and building a bridge of solidarity.  Dennis completed that promise.  My people are grateful for his dedication.   I am sure his time on this planet left an imprint on the hearts of many persons. A strong hug to his family.” 

Dennis, like Romero, you too inspired me and the rest of us to be transformative Easter Catholics.  Vaya con Dios, hermano.

 - Mike Gable, Archdiocese of Cincinnati