Bienvenida! (Emily Engel)

Emily Engel

Bienvenida!

At least that’s what they’ve been saying to me this past week in Suchitoto. “Welcome Emily,” “thank you,” I tell each woman in gratitude as they welcome me into their lives. I would say that they welcome me into their ‘office and work’, but the truth is that this work, the defense of women who encounter violence, is their life. The multiple women that I have had the privilege to get to know this past week live to defend women and prevent more cases of violence against them. Some women on the executive board come from situations of violence themselves, and others simply believe in the right to a life free from violence. A life of happiness and not fear. A peaceful life.

This is a belief that I too share with these women. As I studied more and more psychology at Gonzaga University, I discovered that Latinos, women’s empowerment, and sexual health were my interests. In addition, I received a minor in Mathematics because prior to studying psychology I was a math major, but found the subject tedious after some time. For those of you unsure of where Gonzaga is located, it is in Spokane, WA, near the border with Idaho. However, I’m from a small town north of Seattle called Snohomish. I’ve lived there my whole life, except when studying abroad in El Salvador with the CASA de la Solidaridad program in the Spring of 2011. It was during that semester that I fell in love with the people and the culture, minus machismo. I decided mid-way through my semester that I had to return and thus here I am!

Although El Salvador has a history of violence, I truly believe that the work of APDM, of whom I will accompany for the next year, has made, and will continue to make, huge strides in reducing the violence in this country. The way that one begins this process is with herself. Later, her community, then her province, and then her country. APDM, Asociación para el Desarrollo y Defensa de la Mujer, or in English, Association for the Development and Defense of Women, has successfully began to defend and educate women in this province. APDM has gained the support of the community, the mayor, police, schools, and many other organizations in Suchitoto. I will continue to accompany APDM and learn more about the varying roles within this organization, of which I can aid more directly in the coming months.

I want to personally thank the family and friends of Dennis O’Connor and the donors of the Dennis O’Connor Memorial Fund. I had the opportunity to read the blog post announcing Dennis’ passing, of which many contributed with heartwarming stories. I then followed the link to read “Another day in Cancerland” written by Dennis himself. He spoke endearingly about a woman named Peggy Hollingsworth who told Dennis multiple times, “You do great work for CRISPAZ, but you can’t do it if you’re dead.” Well, although Dennis has gone before us, he lives in each of us, whether we knew him directly or not. It is because of you, the family and friends of Dennis, and the donors to his memorial fund that make it possible for me to attempt to do great work for CRISPAZ, just as Dennis did. It is because of you that I am in El Salvador volunteering and assisting this women’s movement in the fight against violence, a cause that I’m sure Dennis would support. So, thank you once again for your generous donations in supporting CRISPAZ volunteers like me.

Con amor,

Emily

CRISPAZ Compañera

We are very happy to welcome Emily Engel, our new compañera (Long-Term  Volunteer), to the CRISPAZ Family.

Hello friends, family, and Crispaz supporters./ from Jenna Knapp CRISPAZ Compañera (Long Term Volunteer)

      I hope this finds you well, wherever you are! I just wanted to write a quick update about the work I continue to do thanks to CRISPAZ’s generous supporters

 These past few months have been a whirlwind, hence the lack of blog entries, but they have been quite full of activity.

As Maria explained, we have been working with male youth in a detention center doing art therapy workshops, and we have also been working with amazing young women a minor’s detention center in Ilopango. The young women we work with are so full of life and dreams yet most of them serve 5 to 15 year sentences for crimes they may or may not have committed. Since the maximum sentence for minors was raised from 7 to 15 years, youth coming into the centers are even more overwhelmed and have less motivation to “change” knowing that they will be living so many years within the same walls.

            Our work consists mostly in one-on-one sessions with about 30 of the women in the center, where we listen to their fears, secrets, aspirations, and often unspeakable pasts and simply write as they speak. Through this simple exercise the girls realize that they are already poets and that they speak of a wisdom that comes from lessons learned in the streets, one that has everything to do with a gritty reality far different than that which scholars paint with their prose.

        Having done this exercise repeatedly for a year and a half with the majority of the women in the center, we can see that the culture of the center in itself is beginning to change slightly. Girls come to us with 10 poems that they’ve written on their own, wanting us to type them and give them back to them for their portfolios.

They tell me things like  “I was so sad one night I did not even want to exist, but there was a tiny ray of light shining onto my bunk bed so I got out my pen and began to write. Here’s what I came up with, I don’t know if it’s any good…” And inevitably the ensuing words speak of doubts, insecurities, hardship, and a longing for a God that they perhaps have yet to feel fill the spaces of neglect and abuse these women have suffered for years.

            Others will tell me, “I was bored to death in computer class because all we do is play solitaire, so instead I wrote these poems, I don’t know if they’re any good…” And again their words shock me as they reveal themselves as the poets they have always been, yet perhaps are finally expressing for the first time.

            At times this work can be exhausting, overwhelming, and can seem like such a tiny drop in the bucket of ignorance, abuse, and discrimination that plague these women’s lives, yet there are always rays of hope that illuminate our work in the Center. Recently as I was leaving, one of the young women who I have come to love as if she were a long-lost sister of mine told me “You know, I barely know you, but I feel that you are one of those people who has really marked my life, because you’ve helped me to discover who I really am.”

            Her words floored and humbled me, and I left with such a feeling of gratitude. Despite the multitude of setbacks and despair we encounter in our work, if I can facilitate others’ discovery of their true selves, their loving, well-intentioned, God-like selves, this work is well worth the effort.

Jenna Knapp 

CRISPAZ Compañera (Long Term Volunteer)